he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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