grandma shit on top of the toilet
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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