My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
