whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
