U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
