"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
