I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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