Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
