She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
