I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
