Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
