the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
