Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
tell me about the fingering
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