he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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