Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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