I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
