I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
