you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
