Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
