Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
