if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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