My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
