tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
