I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
