one might say we're banned from that church
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
