are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
