So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
