You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Randomize
