Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
