And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
