Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
