I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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