i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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