What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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