That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You pole danced in your parka.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
