I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
