WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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