they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
