We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Buhtt sex?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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