How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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