Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
