don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
