We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
