Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
