Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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