Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
