I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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