at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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