those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
