arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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