ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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